Sunday, June 19, 2005

Happy Father's Day

It's not a yarn swift but...

Diana, the Dysfunktional Knitter, has provided more ammo and teasing in this house ever since she posted the picture of the yarn swift her hubby got for Father’s Day. I’ve told Brian a few hundred times that if the Odd Ball IT and Technical Support Division doesn’t buck up and start fixing things before they annoy me, there’ll be no yarn swifts for them this year. Not that my threats have done any good. They're still the same lot of slack-arsed, work shy, Pepsi swilling spongers that they've always been.

In any event, as much as I know he would have been the envy of his office, and all his war gaming buddies, I couldn’t find a yarn swift that I thought he’d like. So I had to settle for getting him a new Giant bike. He’s taken the switch well and hasn’t whined in the least. What a brave guy!

He even had his breakfast served to him without the usual “What the hell are you thinking, Mister? You’ve apparently mistaken me for the staff…get your own damn breakfast!” Thank God this Father’s Day joke comes but once a year and then we can get back to the natural state of affairs where the Universe does revolve around me.

Actually, I am going to have to talk about me for a minute, since this is ostensibly a knitting blog and while the OddBall IT and Technical Support Division does have his uses, knitting ain’t one of them.

My baby getting ready for some felting action

Voila, the knitting machine. I still haven’t a smicky on how to use the damn thing and the instructions…what is with the instructions. Machine knitting bears no resemblance to hand knitting. I’ll tell you that for nothing. Okay, I can knit a squarish type thingie without any further instructions. It takes longer to actually read the instructions than it does to knit it, once you got it all in the groove. Ohhhhhhhhh yeah, and that would be the ‘catch’. You know there’s always a catch. There is with machine knitting too…getting it into the groove is the catch. Let me put it this way -- parts of my vocabulary got an exceedingly good work out last night.

Note to self: never try to use the knitting machine when tired, cranky or frustrated. It will bring all of those things with it. I’m sure that as I get more experienced, it will be less and less problematic. Just for the hell of it, and because I actually do have some enamel left of my molars, I ought to break out some of the stash and knit a sweater. **Snort** For you know who...

In any event, it’s time for me to clean the pig sty -- I mean my bedroom/studio space. If this column is never updated again, you’ll all know that the dust bunnies won. Liz’ll keep you posted on how the search is progressing… In the meanwhile I bequeath all the stash (I mean the parts that Liz doesn't want) to Deb from Dudley Spinner because she knows a good home for it.

Talk at you’se all laters; thanks for reading.


At 1:03 p.m., June 19, 2005, Blogger Dudleyspinner's Tie Dye Rovings said...

The secret to using a knitting machine is to make cloth. Just make fabric. Then you cut the pieces to the shape you want, for say a sweater, and then you sew them together. Just like any commercial sweater. Add your ribbing and viola! A sweater. I used to knit teddy bears, just knit the cloth, cut the pattern and sew together.

At 1:21 p.m., June 19, 2005, Blogger Dudleyspinner's Tie Dye Rovings said...

Back all you dust bunnies! You will not win, just jump in the dustbin and be gone!...
Kate, be strong! You can do this!
(Hey I got clutter issues of my own ya know)

At 7:50 p.m., June 19, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love the bike! It's awesome. I'll have to post pictures and comments about the yarn swift (LOL) later tonight or tomorrow.

At 9:17 a.m., June 20, 2005, Anonymous the hubby said...

If the dust bunnies do get her the search will be short. I have a double indemnity clause on her life insurance. If she disappears because of aliens, dust bunnies or vicious sweater attacks I get big bucks. I will also be able to sell a lot of wool for even more money. As to the breakfast thing, don’t let that fool you she is not out of bed in the morning for 364 days of the year when breakfast is consumed.

At 11:22 p.m., June 20, 2005, Blogger Liz said...

Well here is my father's day story.(For what its worth) RIING,( actually bad techno music that for some reason I acan't re program ) it's thursday, and on the other end of my cell phone is John the bike mechanic. And guess what. It is not all about me, noooo ... its Brian's pressy, all finished and ready to go. So me --Best friend and all ---I pack up the kids, go get the damned bike, and store it in my kitchen for three days.I now have a vested interest in said bike.It separated me from my coffee cream, and my pint of cherry garcia for three whole days!!!!! HELLLLLOOOO, does anyone else here see the connection???????
Father's day arrived I WAITED patiently til 3:30 to call and see how he liked his present.
Liz: Happy fathers day!!!!so what did you think of your present????( sure he was going to gush uncontrollably)
Brian: What present?
Liz: dead silence.( F#$K did I ruin it how can I recover, s**t -think liz, think, fix it kate spent way too much on this to ruin it.
Brian: yeah they got themselves new purses. I got a card.
Liz:dead silence....uh, can I talk to Kate?
Brian: sure, see ya
to kate( she is SOOOOO easy)
Kate: Laughing hysterically. He got ya, oh my god you made his day !
Happy Father's day Brian.

At 11:30 p.m., June 20, 2005, Blogger Liz said...

I am having people in for solstice tomorrow and can't find the floor in my house. And she thinks she has problems!!!!!!

At 11:33 p.m., June 20, 2005, Blogger Kate, the Odd Ball Knitter said...

I offered the Balveenie. You offered the floor... Cope, Princess, Cope.

At 3:08 p.m., June 21, 2005, Blogger Liz said...

mmmmm Balvenie. I got the lowenbrau.

At 12:46 a.m., June 22, 2005, Blogger Liz said...

Balvenie good. Lowenbrau good too. Dust bunnies gone. my bed however is not pretty. Thank you M&I for cleaning up but mama has to sleep somewhere!!! everything with no definate home is now on my bed. I athink I am delegated to the sofa for the night, sigh.


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