Monday, April 10, 2006

No real knitting content here.

Tippa-tappa slide

Tap dance: an art form involving the rhythmic tapping of the feet in time with music, or alternatively, me trying to write a knitting column with no knitting content. Either way, there’s a lot of shuffling, twisting and turning going on.

Okay, where are we at in the Never Ending Silk Shawl dept? Still beading. I’m got a little over 70 of the 175 beading points done. Okay, when I look at it like that, it’s just depressing. It felt much more productive when I said to myself that I was on the third of five rounds of beading.

I’m fantasizing in the ‘What’s Next?” dept. Most Maritimers will be familiar with the ubiquitous “Honeycomb Mitt” also known as the Newfie mitt. They’re very warm and they can be found at every locale in the region that sells hand knit mitts. Sadly, they’re usually executed in the worst, God-awful acrylic horror show going, which is a shame because it’s not a bad pattern, all in all. It’s just usually really poorly executed.

Now, really, I’m not a fibre snob. Uummmmmmmmmmm, all right, I AM a fibre snob but some acrylics make the grade with me. I’m an equal opportunity, all embracing kind of fibre snot. I think the petro-yarns, even Fun Furs, have their place but is it necessary to use the lowest grade, most pilling variety in the exact shade of “if repulsive had a colour, this would be it”? I think not. It takes as long to knit something out of quality yarn as it does to knit it out of schlock. Go for the quality.

In any event, time for me to get down off the soap box and back to the mittens. I’m thinking about taking the Newfie mitt for a walk, like make a hat out of it. Or an purse. Or the cuff for a pair of socks. I’m thinking a plain solid background, like black, with a multicoloured “honeycomb”. Wonder what if it would felt worth a damn?

There has to be something cool that can be done with this otherwise pretty decent stitch pattern than make it go around and around and around in circles in the same tired mitten pattern.

And to the three people I just offended with my “I’m tired of the tried and the true” rant, I’m sure your mitts are very lovely. It’s the other ones I hate. Honest. Would I lie to you? Of course, not.

But that’s my mood today. I’m am sick to the gills of this damn shawl. It’s dragged on about a month longer than my patience. It’s beautiful but I’m so not there, mentally or emotionally, right now. I think I’m starting to resent it; however, I don’t dare put it away or give it a rest or you all know what will happen. It will get sucked into the land of undone projects and there’s too much in it now to abandon ship now.

I want a new project. Jackie’s doing new things. Liz is doing new things. Every one at work is doing new things. And I’m getting all pouty because I wasn’t invited to the party.

Okay, it’s time to suck up the ‘woe is me’ tale and shake a leg. I’ve got that annual fun-fest at my physician’s office where he tells me, once again, that I’m fat and on the wrong side of 40. Speaking of which, ladies, when’s the last time you all had your feet up in the stirrups, trying vainly to pretend you don’t have half of bloody Home Hardware shoved inside you? More than a year? Get off your duff and make the call for your annual Pap. General rule of thumb: if you can't remember when your last Pap test was, you're overdue. No bloody excuses.

Yes, I’m talking to YOU. Nobody likes it -- get over it. It might save your life.

Talk to you’se all laters; thanks for reading.


At 1:48 p.m., April 10, 2006, Anonymous The Hubby said...

You want a new thing. How about that sweater of mine. It has sat for so long it could be classified as new.

At 8:09 a.m., April 11, 2006, Blogger Kate, the Odd Ball Knitter said...

Let me put this gently, darling.


At 8:25 a.m., April 11, 2006, Blogger jackie said...

What is stopping you from knitting up a funky scarf for someone for christmas? I know that it is a little early, but there is no time like the present and you could probably do it is a quiet shift and be DONE. A finished project. Wouldn't it feel good to have a completed project. It works for me.

And I have to agree with you on the Newfie Mitts. Every year the kids get mitt gifts from a great aunt. I appreciate the mitts, but they are always in the crappy acrylic yarn. My biggest beef with acrylic mitts is that THEY ARE NOT WARM!!! Isn't that the point of mittens? To keep hands warm?

At 11:50 a.m., April 11, 2006, Anonymous The hubby said...

I see authority once again puts down the little guy. Time to take the resistance campaign to the next level. Lets see I need anti aircraft guns for my soviet army

At 12:00 p.m., April 11, 2006, Blogger Kate, the Odd Ball Knitter said...

Keep it up, honey. You might YET get the nomination for most down-trodden and put upon husband in the entire charted universe. Maybe you can get Liz to nominate you or something.

At 12:08 p.m., April 11, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think the beaded shawl is beautiful!

And let the IT team know, that he might have the guns but you hold the bullets!

I have to remind Mr. Effer from time to time that he might wear the pants in the family, but I zip them!

At 12:31 p.m., April 11, 2006, Blogger Liz said...

me nominate the IT department for most downtrodden?? Um, let's see, hmmm.....
That would be a big fat , um, NO!
Give up on the sweater man, life is too short. Maybe you should go buy a nice t shirt or something, have it gift wrapped, sign the card love Kate and pretend she made it for you.

At 7:44 p.m., April 11, 2006, Anonymous The Hubby said...

That is Kate's trick Liz just ask her about the bike bag she got for her birthday.

At 4:27 p.m., April 13, 2006, Blogger Liz said...

sounds like her. I heard about the VERY expensive bike bag she got for her birthday. You are such a loving IT department to have done such a thing for her. Even if you didn't know it was happenning!!!!

At 8:03 a.m., April 14, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

eeewwwww, acrylic??????? my question is this, why would one WANT to use that??????


At 11:46 a.m., December 29, 2008, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did you ever make a hat using the 'Newfoundland' honeycomb pattern? I want to knit a hat and wondering how many stitches to cast on with Paton's Decor yarn. I know, it's only 25% wool, but it comes in fabulous colors.


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